the moment

Do you remember falling in love? With a person, place, time, color, food – anything? Can you pinpoint the instance when your feelings turned from admiration into something deeper, when you realized you needed this person or item to bring something special to your life? I thought about this after reading an article somewhere the other day about how eating certain foods before sex can increase your orgasm or something along those lines. We’ve all heard of love at first sight, and everyone is attracted to different characteristics, be they physical, mental, spiritual – whatever.

I fell in love with my fiance in late 2008, as summer changed from fall, autumn to winter. After reconnecting on the beach after our initial brief meeting in high school, we spent what seemed like every waking moment together, when we weren’t at work or an internship. We had so many things in common, eventually our friendship circles intersected, and I was even taught the homie handshake, which let me know I was good in his friends’ eyes, a big plus.

One evening we were in his room and his niece was finding every excuse to make her way downstairs and “play” with us. He had something in his hand he was eating, we’ll call it a chocolate bar for discussion’s sake. She stared at it like it was the last thing she’d ever get to eat in his life, and he asked her if she wanted some. Of course she did. He broke it in half and then they played a game. I think she had to spell a word or answer some question correctly and she would get the larger piece – she got it wrong. He handed her the smaller piece, which she was happy to be getting, but clearly she was disappointed she hadn’t gotten the answer correct. As she went to walk out the room with her chocolate, he called her back and let her have the bigger piece, which made her day, then gave her a hug and sent her upstairs.

I remember sitting next to him on the futon watching the whole transaction and holding back tears. His compassion, his ability to understand the mind of a child and read her emotions to know what would make her happy, the fact that I already felt so connected to him like we had been lovers for years – it all contributed to my feeling that I needed to keep him around in my life for as long as he wanted to stay there. It’s been said that a woman becomes a mother as soon as she finds out she’s pregnant, while a man becomes a father when his child is born; I knew Rick was a natural father/daddy from that day I saw him with his niece. He has the firmness needed to discipline in the loving way only daddies can perfect, as well as the tenderness to protect and nurture. 

It’s amazing to me that my feelings for this man were sort of cemented watching him interact with a child, but it’s sort of fitting, since my heart melts every single day looking at him and our son together. It’s great to love someone for how they make you feel, but to see others around you experiencing the same is truly magical.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Nesheaholic
    Jan 25, 2013 @ 14:59:29

    That’s so beautiful.


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